LOVE IS MORE THAN A FEELING.
Often times we are completely controlled by our feelings. We could not identify them, couldn't process them,couldn't distinguish between drama and passion, desire and loneliness, love and fear. It is all just a throbbing mess, so it must be love...
In our culture, love is suppose to make a mess of us. It comes with a built-in excuse for acting out every passing feeling, no matter how far-fetched or fear-based it may be. We can't help it, the theory goes, because when we're in love we " go out of our heads:--and w/o a head, all we've got is feelings. We expect to be swept away and to lose control. In fact, we welcome all the confusion. We interpret being out of control as the litmus test of true love, the sign that we've got the real thing...
There's nothing in this world that equals the rush of falling in love, that's for sure. Yet when our desire for love is driven by fear, our feelings of worthlessness or being unlovable can warp our perception of what love is. And without anything to balance our feelings out--such as COMMITMENT, INTELLECT, AND SELF-LOVE--they can dominate our senses and override our best interests. Feelings can convince us to stay when we should leave and to settle for less than we deserve. They can even convince us to reject love if it doesn't feel exactly the way we imagine a true love should...
That's how it is for most of us. We let our feelings rule our relationship because we believe they are the most reliable barometer of romance. When things feel good, we stay committed, put in a lot of effort, and are generous and loving. When things feel bad we withdraw, shrug off our promises, become hostile, or cheat.When we let feelings run our relationships, they often do a terrible job.
Do you believe that love is a feeling? it is ofcourse. But it is also so much more than that. Love is equal parts of emotion, commitment, actions and intellect. It is attitude, energy, and a path. It is at the core of every spiritual philosophy. It expands our heart and is the reason we connect. Love is also who we are.
WE HAVE A CHOICE.
When we love fearlessly, we can experience our feelings in all their depth and passion without letting them control us. We can recognize that feelings are not facts, they are reactions to the world. We can understand that there is more to love tahn a feeling either blissed-out or desperate, that it is a state of being we create and nourish. When love is based in freedom, we are its partner, not its slave.Inspired by freedom, our feelings can guide us to make wise choices about love, even though we have been taught taht we have no choice, love just is. Feelings have the power to awaken, heal, and transform a relationship if only we channel the insights they provide. The challenge is to honor our feelings yet act on our commitments.
I don't for one moment pretend this is easy. It may be one of the hardest things you ever do. After all, you can't just switch off your feelings. To honor them, you have to become more aware of them, not less. The first step is to identify what you are feeling. sound easy?not for everyone. ..
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